Week 27 – Mind wandering

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It’s week 27 of the pregnancy and minds are beginning to wander – for the both of us.

The phone call last night at 7 pm was unexpected.  I’d known she was working late in the office trying to get something done, and had the usual text to say she was leaving (about 15 minutes earlier).  However, phone calls on the way home aren’t regular and usually means there’s an expected shortage of food and she’s covering her bases.

Tonight’s phone call was different.  I could instantly identify the stress in her voice.  “Hi honey, it’s been a bad day,” were the words I heard.  The quivering voice told me it really was a bad day and it wasn’t just because of normal work stress.  “I just put a half tank of petrol (gas) in the car.”  Now this would normally not be a bad thing, except for the fact that said car is a diesel.  OUCH!  Today really is a bad day for poor preggers.

The mind has started to wander lately for my beautiful, mother-to-be.  I noticed little things at first.  Lunches left in the fridge, gravy seconds away from being poured on an iPad rather than her roast dinner, and the work pass hanging at its overnight  resting place (to be fair that one happened before, just now with a bit more frequency).  It’s a funny thing how the baby brain works, or rather more accurately,  fails to work.  It’s stranger still for me, as this lady is the most ace planner/organiser/project manager that I’ve ever met.  How can a baby cause so much havoc?

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Well, to be fair, my mind wanders too.  Yes, I don’t think that dads-to-be are immune to the baby brain either.  It’s not that I continually forget to do simple tasks that I’d normally be right on top of.  That isn’t the problem.  The problem with this man’s wandering mind is that I’m slowly starting to imagine a life with baby.  Week 27 has brought on the realisation that things are going to change massively in the next three months.

Now, I’m not sure if all men go through this stage.  I’m sure to some extent that every dad realises that their life is about to be flip turned upside down.  My realisation is stronger, I’d suggest, for the reason that I’ve been here all before (albeit 8 years ago now) and I fully understand exactly how vast the change is going to be.

So my mind has been wandering through the first few months of restless nights, diaper changes, sick on the clothes, and all around baby-being-dependent-on-our-every-moves that’s coming our way.  At times it’s a pleasant meander through all the expected joys.  At other times, it feels like a treacherous trek through the valley of the shadow of death!  OK, not that bad, but a bit daunting none the less.

If you see me walking down the street and I don’t say hello it’s because my mind is elsewhere.  It’s somewhere between my current life and the madness that is the first year of child rearing.  The joys of parenthood – we do it to ourselves!

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WEEK 22.5 – Buying stuff

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We’re somewhere in the middle of week 22 and 23.  How accurate can this really be?  My mind is boggled by the “really great” estimates that the ultra sounders (I forgot what they’re called) and the midwife comes up with.  We’re at 22.5 by my estimates, so that’s what I’m going with.

Babywise, there isn’t a lot going on.  It seems like a bit of a boring week when it comes to baby and mom websites as well.  Those talk about gaining weight, swelling fingers, one even suggests your feet will grow (moms not dads).  If all they can talk about during week 22 is that you’ll put on weight and get stretch marks, then you know they’re struggling for content.   It seems like there isn’t much to talk about all around – except there is some development stuff like the development of the pancreas.  The pancreas is important, but it’s not making headlines.

Here’s what I know is happening.  We’re looking for stuff for the baby.  True to my tag, we’re doing this on a budget.  The budget is self imposed (leave buying new stuff to the first time parents), but also imposed by severe lack of funds.  Call us crazy, but we’ve decided to buy a house during this process.  We move in to the house somewhere around week 33 – that shouldn’t be stressful!

I have to admit, I am not a shopper.  It absolutely kills me.  When it comes to buying things for me, it’s in, try on, fits right, to the till, out the door.  Luckily, buying on a budget means I don’t have to go in to a shop, because it’s simply too expensive.  Of course, we aren’t shopping traditionally, but we still have to shop.  Our shopping is done on the internet.  This consists of cruising local “for sale” and “pre-loved”(whoever came up with that idea is an idiot) sites and waiting for parents to decide to get rid of stuff as their kids get bigger and things no longer fit.  This natural growing process of kids is good for guys like me – second-hand cots go for cheap!

Week 22.5 isn’t all that exciting.  If my partner read this, I’d probably get a slap around the head.  I’m sure her experience of week 22.5 is a bit different!  But as a guy, there’s no baby in my tummy, so my contribution is helping pick out cots.  Wild times!

Week 21 – Stuck in the middle

I wasn’t sure how to bring this in to the blog, but it’s going to come out sooner or later.  Not only am I a dad to two great kids, I’m going to be a dad again.  We’re in week 21 now and things seem to be going along quite well.

It’s kind of like being stuck in the middle at the moment.  That initial rush of excitement has come, the scary moments of those first few weeks has passed, the scans show a healthy baby, and now we sit and wait.  Of course, some cool things are happening as well.  Last night I had my hand kicked and punched for a good ten minutes (by baby, not by mom – hormones are stable).  The baby is becoming really active, and that’s exciting.

I expect no one’s sympathy, but it’s hard for dads to really get in to this baby thing at the start.  Thankfully we don’t get all of the not so great side effects of morning sickness, sleepless nights, and hormone changes.  But likewise, we don’t have little babies growing inside us.  We don’t have the most extreme bond that two human beings could ever have – that’s reserved solely for the mothers out there.  I’m not sure how other men feel about this, but it’s something it makes me a bit jealous.

Now that baby is really moving around in there, for me at least, the connection has really started to fire up.  Those kicks are the first touch I’ve felt from my baby.  That’s exciting!

Week 21 is a bit stuck in the middle, but it’s pretty good for us dads because we get the first feel of our babies (albeit through a beautiful bump)!

Hey dads out there, do you feel the same way?